39 of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week (December 13, 2025)

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 13, 2025 11:00 PM EST

The internet is a vast, sometimes scary place. It contains literally everything you could ever think of and more. So much more. Think about what the internet was like when you were a kid. It felt miraculous, yet somehow tangible. There were the websites you would go to and the chat rooms you would follow, and sure, there were plunging depths beyond that, but they didn't really cross your mind. And then, somewhere in the 2000s, everything started getting bigger. 

The internet became a wild place that ruled our lives, and yet none of us truly understood. It's like the ocean. We know that it's big and we know that it contains multitudes, but we don't know exactly what is in its deepest, murkiest depths. But we know that there is some stuff in there that we want to see. There are funny memes, images, and tweets that we want to fill our brains with because they make us feel good. But somehow we don't know where to start. 

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  • This is why we come to the fresh tweets list every week. It contains everything that we need to contain and nothing more. It's just the good stuff and none of the bad. And it's perfectly curious just for you. So if that sounds like something you need right now, then you're in the right place.

  • 01
    Alyssa Leader @alittleleader Cars should have two horns, one for "excuse me, kind friend," and another for "curse you and your family for generations."
    via alittleleader
  • 02
    M.B.J @_embijae Calling on God to ensure I'm placed in the 2026 wealth and health package not the life lessons and toughest warrior package GIF
    via _embijae
  • 03
    cherry ✩ @lullabylarva i don't freak unless froken to
    via lullabylarva
  • 04
    Mike @michaelcollado Incredible work, everyone. HBO max HBO max max NETFLIX
    via michaelcollado
  • 05
    cam @harleybaghdad The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.
    via harleybaghdad
  • 06
    mau @rllydu my ducks: in a row my elephant: addressed my eggs: several baskets my bigger fish: fried
    via rllydu
  • 07
    cants @cantseyy Oh here we go The Independent @Independent. 1d British teenager goes missing on hike near Dracula's Castle in Transylvania independent.co.uk/news/ uk/home-n... AMS
    via cantseyy
  • 08
    Bailey Angle @baileyangle Excited to share that I have lost 30 lbs since a hibachi chef said to me "I bet you want some extra shrimp, big guy" (I did want some)
    via baileyangle
  • 09
    nick @lovechazelle this is the worst sentence i have ever read in my entire life The Tonight Show @FallonTonight - 22h What's Behind Me w/ @sydney_sweeney: 3 Labubus doing 67 at a McDonald's Drive-Thru #FallonTonight -Thru ce 9 Feet m Donald's der Her :0 3 LABUBUS doing the 6-7 at a MCDONALD'S DRIVE-THI
    via lovechazelle
  • 10
    @WeatherRapport If I had a tiny girlfriend I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level
    via WeatherRapport
  • 11
    CLARK @clarkcashes How much is bail Lancesico A @Bornakang. 1d A 19 Year old girl in a white Mustang tried to pull a Fast & Furious move and run from a cop - only for the officer to track her straight to her home minutes later. " "
    via clarkcashes
  • 12
    dior + @deeore5 whoever salts the fries at McDonald's needs to come do the roads
    via deeore5
  • 13
    Nyatsimba Mutotesi ❤ @timiretimzzy2 I run every day for 30 minutes, if I miss a day I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer, tomorrow I'm supposed to run for 3 weeks.
    via timiretimzzy2
  • 14
    Reece + @reeceollld this would've did numbers on tumblr Reece @ihyreeece. 2d LOVE 10 35 HURTS
    via reeceollld
  • 15
    Allie @allie_voss Finding out it was just a lady named Ruth who bought "Chris Steakhouse" infuriated me in ways I cannot articulate Aubrey Strobel @aubreystrobel. 1d The name Ruth's Chris steakhouse infuriates me.
    via allie_voss
  • 16
    21.->> @Big_tagg Planes that land safely never make the news. tu!es @saint_cloudy. 1d Does marriage have any good PR?
    via Big_tagg
  • 17
    GoHomeRoger @Go_homeroger My cousins girlfriend introduces herself. She says, "My name is chocolate" My momma yells out "NOT YO STRIPPER NAME GIRL!"
    via Go_homeroger
  • 18
    Z @workinonit okay so it turns out that this is true Jampzey @Jampzey. 2d today I learned 317 77 Jack_Brutal 5m • 123 If you have a VPN, connect to Albania server. It is illegal for YouTube to have ads in albania. ... Datinata OD Naw Reply +1
    via workinonit
  • 19
    G. Gordon Lady @burningviolins My uncle brought his new girlfriend to Thanksgiving dinner. She's half his age and refers to herself in the third person as "Jamaican Masterpiece". She is a white woman who has never been to Jamaica. I don't know her real name because my uncle also calls her Jamaican Masterpiece.
    via burningviolins
  • 20
    Evan @evan_thayer >be me >get to my plane seat 2A >2B asks if her husband can switch with me >I ask her if he has a window seat or an aisle seat >it's a good seat sir >i check out the seat >its a middle seat >now still sitting in 2A with an upset 2B
    via evan_thayer
  • 21
    boop @xboxbodywash Just got to my Dune 3 showing This TV isn't part of your Netflix Household Create an account to enjoy your own Netflix today. Create an Account Did we get it wrong? You have options. Update Netflix Household I'm Traveling
    via xboxbodywash
  • 22
    Megan Johnson @megansarahj I've got 50 minutes to make it look like I've been flossing for the last 6 months
    via megansarahj
  • 23
    simi✔ @sk33zly it's what? over jeffy @retrojeff3 · 1/10/25 breaking up via walkie talkie. i guess you could say it's over
    via sk33zly
  • 24
    miri @eggoslug Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868 and you go outside and your horse dead as hell
    via eggoslug
  • 25
    illegally blond @kcdanger accidentally scared my therapist bc I was organizing the basement of my job waiting for her to join the call, here is a reenactment of what she came into
    via kcdanger
  • 26
    SIR Larry Legend @larryislegend They gone combine all the streaming services and introduce Gen Z to a new streaming service called "cable".
    via larryislegend
  • 27
    2K Durag @KayyyHope Finding out 50 Cent agreed to do an interview with ABC news station only because it's one of the few stations they're allowed to watch in prison. He's a menace
    via KayyyHope
  • 28
    YH @Yemihazan Diddy hired a videographer to film him for weeks during the early days of his court case, only to end up not paying for service rendered bcos he lost the case, the videographer went on to sell the footage to 50
    via Yemihazan
  • 29
    demi adejuyigbe @electrolemon if u see a streaming service forming a monopoly at da cost of da theatrical experience warn a brother
    via electrolemon
  • 30
    victoria @vicwingly her spotify listening age was 19 you sick fuck
    via vicwingly
  • 31
    rachael @witty_genstein I know this girl who increased body weight 30% in one month. Literally all she would do is eat, sleep, and sh*t. Constantly waking up in the night to snack. She couldn't even talk because she was so focused on bulking. Anyway, happy 1 month to my baby.
    via witty_genstein
  • 32
    Jack Raines @Jack_Raines Imagine overdrafting at BeastBank and waking up in Squid Game. Watcher.Guru @WatcherGuru. 1d JUST IN: World's biggest YouTuber 'MrBeast' to launch financial services platform.
    via Jack_Raines
  • 33
    johntheman_heiscome_heisme_P... @heiscomeheisme THREE WEEKS FROM NOW A MAN WILL CONTORT HIMSELF INTO YOUR CHIMNEY AND ENTER YOUR HOUSE IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT ... LEAVE OUT FOOD AND DRINK FOR HIM AND DO NOT ATTEMPT TO LAY EYES ON HIM
    via heiscomeheisme
  • 34
    a @aallleeexxxXXX1 a big pet peeve of mine is when people sneeze multiple times in a row. like figure that out and put an end to it... take some control of your life
    via aallleeexxxXXX1
  • 35
    geryon @ROSYLNS groceries? get em delivered. books? buy em on amazon. fuck libraries and bookstores. stop buying cds, vinyls, and dvds, it's all on the cloud! movie theaters? obsolete. subscribe to 10 different platforms instead! stay inside. be afraid of your neighbors. work til you die
    via R0SYLNS
  • 36
    Champ ✪ @Ib_ra_himm When you miss the ad's cancel button by a millimeter and end up in the Play Store. A. @aurorababe_ .3d weirdest thing that gets you angry
    via Ib_ra_himm
  • 37
    -⭑Lucid ★ @wyalucid "Who ordered gratuity??" Rosani @Ya5avPrincessa 2/25/24 Mfs seen THAT bill 12
    via wyalucid
  • 38
    Laroi Esq. O @fwlaroiski Dropped a girl home after arguing and when she got out I was patiently waiting for the car door to SLAM. The slam never came, she just left the door wide open, I had to get out and close it myself like a taxi man
    via fwlaroiski
  • 39
    Vivian @suchnerve "It's negative 40 degrees." "Fahrenheit or Celsius?" "...I have amazing news."
    via suchnerve

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